Facebook’s timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat. 😛

Sometimes when my internet is down I forget the rest of my computer still works. 😛

The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for a girlfriend.

The human mind is like a TV set. When it goes blank, it’s a good idea to turn off the sound.

If facebook was a college I would definitely get a 100% attendance record..:P

Height of social networking: Teacher: where is your homework ? Student: I uploaded it on facebook and I tagged you!!

The best thing about my status is that by the time you realize it says nothing at all, you will have already read it. 😛

Behind every successful status update, there is a Ctrl+C & Ctrl+V 😛

Sunglasses allow an individual to stare at people without them knowing. It is Facebook in real life.

If someone texts ‘K’, just reply with ‘L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z’