“I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.” – Oscar Wilde
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what i am saying.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
I won’t try to be awesome, awesome tries to be me.
I’ve noticed you noticing me and I’m just giving you notice that I’ve noticed you!
You can’t be late until you show up.
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
I was blinded by your beauty so I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
It’s not cheating unless you get caught.
Girls are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken.