I hate when I`m trying to sleep andd my mind says- You know what’s a great movie? Paranormal activity.
Lying in bed in the middle of the night trying to decide if it`s worth it to get up & pee or if you can hold it in until the morning. 😛
10 Reasons Why I’m LAZY… You know what? Never mind. I can do this later.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
Editor: Why did you write the story on top of the envelope and send it?
Author: You asked me to write a Cover Story, that`s why.
How come Mario can smash through bricks, yet he dies when he touches a freaking turtle?
33% of married women say their pet is a better listener than their husband. And 100% of pets say this crazy bitch won’t shut up.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Math needs to grow up, and solve its own problems cause I’m tired of doing all of its work.
A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple.